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Utilitarian Fem

Happy early St. Patty’s day my little leprechauns. That time of year where everything is injected with a disgusting amount of green food coloring and obnoxious people pinch you because how were they supposed to know that your underwear were green. There’s face paint, clovers on anything with a blank space, plastic pots filled with gold coin chocolates, probably some beads, and oh did I mention green? 

Being that I am going to a St. Patty’s day party, I feel obligated to partake in wearing a visibly green ensemble. Also because if some drunk fool pinches me thinking that it is funny to “pinch” a stranger as an adult, I will be forced to kick said person in the knee cap. 

For this particular occasion, I wanted to come up with a look that is fashionable and edgy, but functional and comfortable. Suitable for an entire day of walking around and drinking colored beer that no one is completely positive on if it is actually safe to consume a vast amount of. 

I started with this killer body con ribbed dress. For starters, it is in fact a shade of green. I can honestly say I looked, and I do not have anything but different hues of olive in my closet. So, this is as festive as it is going to get as far as the color game. I happen to love it. The cut and shape of this dress are chic and sexy, while the soft fabric and stretch of the piece make it totally comfy. No, I am not wearing a bra, hence my Carrie Bradshaw pointy boob thing going on. When yours are as little as mine it isn’t usually necessary, but if you are more endowed a strapless is the best way to go with a dress cut like this. 

Then I picked my shoe. While it is supposed to be amazing weather, and a sandal would be super cute with this outfit, I didn’t think it would be functional for the long day of activities that I know are going to be taking place. Plus, I always like to mix it up. So I went for my knee-high Docs and I am beyond pleased with the military-esque aesthetic they created. They are durable while also adding edge and an unexpected boyish feel. 

I accessorized with several big turquoise and stone rings and called it a day. If you are out in Dallas on Saturday, you can expect to see me in this look, and I am thrilled about it! Staying true to myself while still getting in the spirit. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and got inspired by this ensemble! 

Stay safe. Be smart. And stop being a hag.


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