Valentine’s day. The holiday that causes couples to gush, while also arousing a sense of nausea for singles everywhere. Heart shaped everything, the reoccurring and ever prevalent pink and red color scheme, enough chocolate to put the entire country into a sugar coma, and ROSES, lots of them.
What I usually hear through the single girl grapevine, is how horrible this beloved day is. That it shoves being single in your face and makes the feeling of loneliness incredibly apparent.
Why, though, does it have to be that way? Does Valentine’s Day really have to be a holiday strictly for couples, and couples alone?
Here is what I think. NO. Absolutely not. In fact, I think that is absurd. What, because we are single we should allow ourselves to feel miserable and wallow in the thoughts of not receiving an obnoxiously sized teddybear from the local CVS that “someone special” picked just for you, even though…you have NOWHERE to put such an object. Gross, no thank you.
In my humble opinion (maybe not so humble, I don’t know), this February 14th holiday should be a day to celebrate love, all love. Sure, for some that applies to their better half. But for the rest, self love. Which, I happen to think is extremely important.
Let me clarify, I’m not talkin’ “give yourself a another birthday” type celebration. That’s rather ostentatious. What I mean is, creating, understanding, and thoroughly enjoying the very personal and necessary love for your own self.
A part of that is feeling good about yourself. There are a ton of different ways todo so. Whether it be fitness, eating healthy, getting compliments from strangers on your new bronzer that you picked even though the sales associate at Sephora tried to tell you it isn’t your shade. Take that, Becky.
For a while now I have been an advocate on the importance of feeling sexy just for yourself. Not for a partner, not for the hot dad you keep bumping into at whole foods, YOU. By the way, leave the poor man alone. He’s just trying to get some produce for his children. Let him sort through those ripe avocados in peace.
There is something that I do for myself, and have really come to love. I do it alone, I keep it very discrete, and I don’t do it often, but rather every now and then as a little treat to myself. I buy lingerie.
Quick disclaimer, I am not buying it with the intention of bumping uglies with someone (heard that term for the first time recently and I lost my mind). You know, shagging. I truly mean that I buy it for me, myself, and I.
There is something that is weirdly special about making a purchase like that. It’s very personal. I found when I first did it by myself, I was a bit bashful! Thinking back on it, I felt a bit silly too. Picking up and lace garter belt thinking “cool, can’t wait for my dogs to be the only ones that see this…” But it’s not about that.
Go into the store and peruse the lingerie. There are numerous pieces and styles to choose from. Take. Your. Time. This is about you! You don’t have to consider if your mate would prefer you wearing lace vs silk. Think if there are any pieces you have seen in the past that you have loved, thought were tantalizing, but walked past and decided “maybe in the future, Rick from accounting doesn’t seem to really be progressing like I thought it would.”
Once you sort through what you want to try on…TRY ON. Go into the fitting room and see what you think. I recommend trying on several different styles to see what you find to be the sexiest on your body. When you try on one that you feel good about, you have a little moment in your mind. Wow…well hello there you little vixen. Meow! Make your purchase!
After you have obtained your new sultry gem, what are you going to do with it?
My favorite thing to do, is wear whatever it is under my everyday clothes. It sounds weird but I promise there is a method to the madness.
For example, this yummy black corset and seductive white one piece. Let’s say I was meeting some friends for lunch or running errands. I put on the corset, throw a grey v-neck over it with a moto jacket, and I’m out the door. Perhaps I am going to chic dinner or a movie. I slip into the one piece, and put on a low-cut peasant dress or a turtleneck with an open back.
Does anyone around you know that you are wearing lingerie? No. But you do. It becomes like a sexy secret you have with yourself. You instantly feel more sensual, therefore exuding a confidence that you may have thought you could only develop within the confines of an intimate relationship.
Another thing that is great, is wearing the lingerie to bed. Again, ALONE. Swap the flashback P.E. school issued sweats for a silk teddy.
Here’s the thing. If you are in a relationship, I think that is wonderful. These lingerie pieces are sure to make your lover weak at the knees. This concept is something you could do on date night. They have no idea and then all of a sudden, when you get home after consuming wine and oysters, BAM. He didn’t even see it coming. What a treat. Maybe lay off sharing a cheesecake before the big reveal…
Another idea, is do it for yourself when your boo thing is out of town. Why not?
Listen, the point is, love yourself. Feel sexy. And stop being a hag.